It just seems like....

...the only posts I can put together lately are random

someday I am hopeful I will get my writing mojo back.

....I will never feel well again.  

Been fighting "something" for the last 4 weeks.  Now all the antibiotics (3 different ones) I was on have caused more problems.  I just want to feel well.

...I have all my chicks back in the nest.  

2 are home very temporarily.  So, I need to enjoy it as much as I can!!

...I have been trusting God with a situation in my life.. forever.  

It has been a while, but I know He has it under control and I can continue to trust Him with it.

...sometimes no one understands what I am going through. 

Yet I open God's Word each day and am reminded that He does.

...we were empty nesters for a year. 

We thoroughly enjoyed it, but are looking forward to all the babies we will have in our home this summer.  We already have respite scheduled for 3 different babies starting in June.

...summer will never get here.

I know it will be here soon and I shouldn't wish away these mildly warm days....but I am a sun girl and I am ready for some HEAT!!  

...I haven't had a vacation in a loooong time.

But then I remember I am going on a trip next week with my parents and my brother and his wife.

  I can.not.wait.

now to focus on being well for the vacation!!!

Reflections of a new foster mom

We just said goodbye to our first respite foster baby.

We had baby A for 4 1/2 days and I learned many things...

** I can fall in love in 4 short days
**it's an amazing feeling the moment a baby trusts you enough to snuggle
**having baby A "reach" for me makes me smile just as much as when my own children did it

**This little boy has his own place now in my heart
**I love watching my husband snuggle and sing to a baby
 **Just about the time we learned A's schedule and got into a routine, it was time for him to go home
**our house is not baby proof...even though I thought I baby proofed it

**I am very tired (emphasis on very)
**I am not as "in shape" as I thought I was

**You have children when you are young for a reason :)

**I hope I can provide respite for A again.
**my heart breaks as I realize I may never know how he grows up

Yet, I know God sees him always!!

So, today I am praying for this little guy and his future.
Praying he will be on a path to meet and know his Savior.
 And maybe one day, I will be able to see him again.

Today

Today is the day a year's worth of work and prayer comes to fruition.

Today is the day I really jump into this foster care arena.

Today is the day my heart will most likely fall in love with someone not mine.

Today is the day my life will change...forever.

Today is the day I welcome in my first foster baby for respite.

I am no longer dreaming about it, no longer wondering when it will happen.  I am no longer purposefully working through classes and red tape.

Today, I will be loving on, ministering to and most likely falling in love with a baby boy that I will only keep for 4 days.

And my life will change because I will never be able to turn my back on these children again....ever.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Stepping away from the window..

It's easy to trust God when things are going well in our lives.

But what about when there is a storm....

..and you can't see how or when it will end?
...and you can't see how it could possibly end well?
..and you pray for God to intervene, but it continues?
..and you are tired, worn out and just want to retreat?

Can you trust Him then?
 
God tells us over and over in the scriptures who He is:

I AM
the One who created the worlds into order, by a Word
the One who placed the stars and knows them by name
the One who knit you together in your mother's womb
the Beginning and the End

How could I not trust that He is able to take care of the storms in my little life?

Yet my human heart will time after time turn my eyes from Him to the storm....which causes fear......which causes me to doubt, panic, take things into my own hands, become anxious...

....and that never works out well for me.

As I have matured,  I feel like I am doing a better job of keeping my eyes on Him.....I am spending time with Him in prayer, studying the scriptures daily, bringing my thoughts to Him during the day through music and reminders...

These are all very good things.
They bring a sense of Peace and insight and direction

...but in a storm....it's not enough.

He wants me to trust Him....completely.....with my whole heart.
Which should be reflected by a calmness in my life, even in the middle of a storm.

Recently, He gave me a clear illustration of how this looks.
I am a visual learner and I love that He knows me so well!!

Easter Sunday I awoke to a very dark, stormy day.  We were having 11 people for lunch at 2:00, so I got busy preparing food before I had to leave for church.  The whole time it is just thundering and storming like crazy and Lily (our dog) was following me everywhere I went, right on my heels. So fearful of the storm.  I had some time to spare and sat down on the couch and Lily jumped up on the sofa and stood over my lap.  I tried to get her to lay down and let me hug her to calm her but she kept getting up and going to the other side and looking out the window at the storm.  Then she would freak out a bit and come back and stand over my lap.  I quit trying to make her lie down and just let her continue to go look out at the storm and then come back.

She knew I was her comfort, but she was so fearful seeing and hearing the storm, she wouldn't allow me to comfort her.  Even though I knew the storm would end soon....Lily didn't ....and that made her fearful and anxious.

As I sat there,  God just spoke right to my heart.......He said, "you are just like Lily, Sara.  You stay close by Me in the storms.  You know where your comfort is.  You are even in My lap at times.  But you continue to leave My lap and go look at the storm.  Just trust Me.  Stay in my lap and let Me comfort you.  I know this will end soon, even though you can't see it.  I am in control of it.  I know what is best for you.  Quit going to the window to look at the storm"

He's right.

Going to the window, just scares me or makes me angry or anxious.

So I am making a conscious effort to step away from the window in the midst of my storms....

...and trust HIM.

He is more than able.

Lay me down by Chris Tomlin

This song from Chris Tomlin has really touched me today.

It just seems to speak my heart.....

It will be my joy to say "Your will, Your way..always"

Oriented by Scripture

"But  the Scriptures must be fulfilled." Then they all forsook Him and fled.  Mark 14:49b-50

There are times when, in the darkest moments of your life, the only comfort left for you is a word from God.  Jesus faced the cruel injustice of a hostile world, but perhaps His deepest pain came when His closest friends deserted and betrayed Him.  What could possibly sustain Him at such a dark moment?  Jesus found His comfort in the Scriptures. The Scriptures kept everything in perspective for the Savior, holding Him steadfast in the knowledge that everything He was experiencing was according to His Father's plan.  Jesus could proceed with confidence because the Scriptures assured Him that the Father was in control.

The word of God will guide you in the same way.  There will be times when events around you will confuse you.  Those in whom you've placed your trust will fail you.  Others will abandon you.  You will be misunderstood and criticized.  In these times of distress, when your devotion and obedience are put to the greatest test, you must let Scripture guide and comfort you.  Never let the faithlessness of others determine what you do.  Turn to the Scriptures and allow them to reorient you to God and His activity. 

Even as a young boy, Jesus was already well acquainted with the Scriptures.  He was never surprised by event; He lived with confidence because the Scriptures had prepared Him for everything that He would face. 

If you will immerse your self daily in the word of God, you will not be caught off guard when crises come.  Your focus will already be on God, and He will safely guide you through your difficult moments.

--Experiencing God day by day (underline mine)


Psalm 16:5
Lord, you assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

Psalm 27:13
I am confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord 

Monday Randomness...

I am having a hard time being productive today!

And in a effort to keep procrastinating...I decided to share some randomness with you.

You're welcome.   :)

I put my youngest child on the plane yesterday.  Thank goodness there is only about 5 weeks of school left so it won't be long till I see them all again!  The quiet in my house this morning is deafening.

My daughter has an on-site interview in Texas on Tuesday morning.  She has asked me to go with her for support......yes, I love that.   We are leaving this afternoon to drive there.  I am so excited for her to take this next step!

Just over a week ago, I was wearing flip flops and enjoying the sun....what a difference a week makes.  It is freezing in my house!!!!  Now I know "freezing" is relative seeing as I am in the south, but seriously.....it is cold.

God continues to surprise me with His timing.  I have been struggling with an issue lately and was praying about it this morning.  Afterward, I got on the computer and opened a devotion I get by email and it spoke directly to my issue.  Why does that always surprise me?  I love when He speaks to my heart so clearly.

I did some respite care this weekend for a 7 month old foster baby.  Oh my word, she was precious.  A full, and I mean FULL, head of hair and such a sweet disposition.  I loved every minute of snuggling time with her!!!  But it makes my heart sad that her mama is missing out on these precious times and I'm praying she can do what she needs to to be reunited with her baby.

ok, I am done rambling and need to get SOMEthing done today. 

Then again, I completed this and that is something....done!  :)